So I’ve gained weight. A lot of weight. So much weight that
I avoid mirrors and clothing shopping and events of any kind cause huge stress.
Case in point: I’m supposed to go to a friend’s birthday weekend in a place
where it will be cool enough for jeans, and I don’t have jeans, and can’t face
buying them. It’s too hot in New York for jeans right now, anyway. And I don’t
want to see pictures of myself in jeans – or, frankly, anything else.
And it’s not that I haven’t been trying to get my act
together. It’s just… not happening. Or really, it happens for a few days and I
fall apart spectacularly, usually at the weekend. And I’m not even doing any
kind of rigid diet – at this point all I want from myself is not to binge.
I have at least a few more days’ reprieve from dealing with
it, because I’m visiting friends in France. (I know, what a drag, right?) This
is actually the one place in the world where I never binge and I’m doing my best
to keep it that way.
‘Till soon.
