So I’ve gained weight. A lot of weight. So much weight that
I avoid mirrors and clothing shopping and events of any kind cause huge stress.
Case in point: I’m supposed to go to a friend’s birthday weekend in a place
where it will be cool enough for jeans, and I don’t have jeans, and can’t face
buying them. It’s too hot in New York for jeans right now, anyway. And I don’t
want to see pictures of myself in jeans – or, frankly, anything else.
And it’s not that I haven’t been trying to get my act
together. It’s just… not happening. Or really, it happens for a few days and I
fall apart spectacularly, usually at the weekend. And I’m not even doing any
kind of rigid diet – at this point all I want from myself is not to binge.
I have at least a few more days’ reprieve from dealing with
it, because I’m visiting friends in France. (I know, what a drag, right?) This
is actually the one place in the world where I never binge and I’m doing my best
to keep it that way.
‘Till soon.
I'm very sorry that you're struggling. I hope you find some peace in France.
ReplyDeleteHopefully France will be good for you again and get you back on an even keel xx
ReplyDeleteShoot, sorry to hear that you are feeling uncomfortable and not wanting to be photographed. I know the feeling all too well. You will get back on track but I know it sucks when you fall into that abyss of binging. Good luck coming to the end of this bad streak.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry..sounds like a rough go. Maybe you should just move to France :). Have fun and be kind to yourself.
ReplyDeleteI think it's safe to say we have all been in the boat. I am right there with you now. We can break the bad streak!
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