My resolve after posting yesterday lasted all of about, oh, two hours. After consuming a Magnum bar during the Sex and the City movie (and yes, I don't even like Magnum bars that much), I returned to BN2's and had some Somerset brie on crackers. All was not ruined yet, but then I had a mini-binge of some bread and butter and cheese, plus a whole bunch of animal crackers. I did manage to run for 45 minutes, then came home to eat more bread and cheese (plus pate) for dinner. By the time I finished my glass of port, I was already worrying about whether the dress I planned to wear to court this morning would fit. (No, the court date isn't mine -- it's a certain Rehab singer's husband's.)
Today could have been a disaster, but I really dug my heels in in an attempt to turn this around. (For the record, yes, the dress fit, although not as nicely as it used to.) I slept through my alarm for the first time in months and had a mad dash to make it to the court on time (it's an hour and a half away). I grabbed a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast and stowed a snack in my bag for mid-morning. My lunchtime options were limited, but I didn't use that as an excuse to make poor choices. Nor did I give in to the temptation to just give in and start tomorrow when I was absolutely ravenous this afternoon. I even managed to get myself to yoga, and when I realized -- upon arriving at the studio -- that I'd left my wallet home, I convinced them to check my account on their computers.
Feeling slightly better, although shaky. Tomorrow is another long (and boring) day in court, followed by dinner out, so I'll need to be careful.
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Sorry you are are having a tough time with BN2 - in your last post, you said it was the wrong time to end it with him because of his legal problems. That's very considerate of you, but please listen to your good instincts soon. Make the break if you believe that is what is best for you. Trust yourself and do what is best for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI remember a good friend asking me once that if I would wish the kind of marriage I had on one of my children. It really made me wake up and realize that I was putting up with something I would never wish on someone else. Why? Didn't I deserve better? If you don't stick up for yourself, you know that no one else will.
Be good to yourself and do what is really best for you; maybe if that area of your life is more under control, the binging will be too? Good luck!
Im going for the upbeat note.
ReplyDeletethis:
My lunchtime options were limited, but I didn't use that as an excuse to make poor choices.
if you get a sec and are in my 'hood check out yesterdays post and COMMENTS.
The Bumbling Band of MizFits came up with a lot of great foodongo tips.
M.
http://www.MizFitOnline.com
I am glad you still fit in your clothes...I let myself gain some 15 lbd, but gaining back control over the situation, so hopefully I'll be back to normal soon. Take care,
ReplyDeletek.
til-i-reach.com
Just keep cracking on Beth. its tricky and I find summer tends to throw more challenges in one's path but you are obviously on the case. Keep it up and be kind to yourself re BN2.
ReplyDeleteLesley x
Back on the wagon and riding off into the sunset???
ReplyDelete