Day Seven

Something strange happened this morning: I couldn’t finish my pancakes.

And then something stranger happened: I stopped trying to.

You could say this is because I ate way more than I should have yesterday (and that it wasn’t paleo). But often eating too much (as opposed to bingeing) makes me hungrier the next morning. I don’t know what it was. I do know that it was hard not to finish the last pancake, because I was thinking: What if I’m hungry later? What if, at 11 or 3 or 5 or 9 pm I think: Fuck, I wish I’d eaten that pancake?

(It did make me glad I’d decided to limit my paleo pancake-eating to a once-a-week treat, and also glad that I’m going to start cooking more, so I know exactly what’s in what I’m eating.)

It was not a stellar weekend. Friday drinks turned into the sort of night where you’re not entirely sure how you got home, and I consumed nearly an entire can of almonds instead of dinner. Eeek. Saturday was a long-planned beach day where I gave up on the paleo idea and very nearly binged. There was a bit of secret eating – a sneak to the shop next door  when we had a longer-than-expected wait and I was getting grumpy – but it wasn’t a full-out binge, and it so SO easily could have been. Something strange happened this morning: I couldn’t finish my pancakes.

And then something stranger happened: I stopped trying to.

You could say this is because I ate way more than I should have yesterday (and that it wasn’t paleo). But often eating too much (as opposed to bingeing) makes me hungrier the next morning. I don’t know what it was. I do know that it was hard not to finish the last pancake, because I was thinking: What if I’m hungry later? What if, at 11 or 3 or 5 or 9 pm I think: Fuck, I wish I’d eaten that pancake?

(It did make me glad I’d decided to limit my paleo pancake-eating to a once-a-week treat, and also glad that I’m going to start cooking more, so I know exactly what’s in what I’m eating.)

It was not a stellar weekend. Friday drinks turned into the sort of night where you’re not entirely sure how you got home, and I consumed nearly an entire can of almonds instead of dinner. Eeek. Saturday was a long-planned beach day where I gave up on the paleo idea and very nearly binged. There was a bit of secret eating – a sneak to the shop next door when we had a longer-than-expected wait and I was getting grumpy – but it wasn’t a full-out binge, and it so easily could have been. (I had Devil Dogs, which taste exactly like chemical cream between styrofoam, and Drake's Pies, the apple version, which still taste pretty good though achingly sweet). So maybe not a gold star, but certainly a victory of sorts.