I lost a half a pound this week.
A measly half a pound – and it’s still near the beginning, when I have plenty of weight to lose and, if past experience is any guide, it should be coming off faster.
I don’t want to hear from well-meaning friends about how I should be grateful that the scale is heading downward at all. I just want to rant. Because that Marc Jacobs party I went to on Friday? I didn’t eat or drink anything. I didn’t idly sip champagne at all the shows I went to, unlike nearly everyone else, including the whippets in skinny jeans. In Paris I ignored the siren call of macaroons and pastry. I exercised.
A half a pound? It seems mean, and unfair. And it scares me, because if progress is this slow so early on, when is it going to stall entirely? It’s true I haven’t been hungry, but I have been very, very careful these past 85 days. Except for Christmas, I can count the drinks I’ve had on one hand, and I haven’t been eating out much. I won’t live this way forever – I can’t – but my plodding progress is striking fear that the minute I am even slightly less careful I will gain. It makes me fear eating, say, oatmeal raisin cookies, or having a glass of champagne – things I know I need to do from time to time so I don’t end up bingeing.
At the rate of a half a pound a week, it’s going to take me nearly another two years to lose the other 46.5 pounds. Sigh. (And don't get me started on how I still can barely see any difference with the 23.5 I've already lost. Oh, wait -- I've already ranted about that.)
I’m starting to wonder about This Thing I’m Doing. But like the Washingtonian I am at heart, I'm going to give it a presidential 100 days and then reassess.
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I've totally been where you are. Eating perfectly and the weight barely moves. I get it. And I know you don't want to hear this but the weight you've lost so far is about 1/3 of the way to your goal. That's amazing. Instead of losing this 20+ pounds you could have gained weight during this time. You've been a huge inspiration to me. I read you and I see your little drops but I still think you've lost over 20 pounds, I'd love to lose 20 pounds. And the thing is about weight, if you keep going your body adjusts. You'll have bad weeks that make no sense and good weeks that you wonder how you lost but the main thing to keep in mind is the big picture, you are 1/3rd there. You are doing it, you are making the change, and I'm amazed by it, inspired by it.
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