Dear Old Blighty

This morning – before a birthday Sunday lunch in the country – I decided to go to bikram yoga, partly because I have a pack of classes I need to use up, and partly so I could feel virtuous at lunch.

I arrived back home a sweaty mess, with exactly an hour to shower before dashing to catch my train. Except my water didn’t work.

I called Thames Water, which did a computer check and told me that there was no construction in my area. They then told me I needed to check with my neighbors to see if they had water before Thames Water would do anything. So I dutifully trotted upstairs to call on my neighbor, who I’m sure was thrilled to hear from me at 11 a.m. on Sunday.

I called Thames Water back to be told I needed to check with neighboring buildings to see if they had water. But I don’t know any of those neighbors, it’s pouring rain, it’s Sunday morning, and what if there’s nobody home, I protested.

Thames Water won’t do anything until you do that, I was told. So – now a sweaty, rained-on mess – I banged on various doors, and called Thames Water back. (Hey, where’s my pension, now that apparently I work for Thames Water?)

This time I was told that I also had to check with properties on the next block to see if they had water.

I confess I lost it then. I had exactly 17 minutes to get ready before catching a train for a party I was throwing, and I snapped: “What exactly do I pay you for? Do you people do anything?” (Nothing like doing my part for the Ugly American stereotype.)

I checked with properties on the next block, who did have water. On the way back, I spotted a couple of men in fluorescent vests.

“Can you tell me what you’re doing there?” I asked.

“Do you live there?” one of them asked, pointing in the direction of my building. “You won’t have water for another hour.”

Sigh. I called Thames Water again, and asked why their computer system hadn’t known about this particular construction. No answer. Sometimes I love this country soooooo much.

With eight minutes to go, I dashed upstairs, grabbed a couple of bottles of Evian, and hopped in the bath, a la a supermodel.