Wednesday 2 December 2009

Someone Who Loves Me Went to Miami And All I Got Was This Lousy Klondike Bar

No news is generally bad news in bloggerland, reliable sources inform me, but I am OK and haven't jumped off the (relatively) healthy living bridge just yet. Yes, I did eat two Klondike ice cream bars for breakfast one day (all that was in my grandma's freezer), and mixed my serving size box of Dorset muesli (left in my bag from some other trip) with lowfat chocolate pudding another morning (the milk at Grandma's had gone bad – have to say this combo actually was fairly tasty, or would have been if the pudding weren't fake). But, you know, everything still fits. I think.

There has been family illness and personal drama, and yes, I am being deliberately cagey as (a) I'm in a hurry (Hemingway always said he wrote a letter because he didn't have time to write a postcard) and (b) I decide whether or not to password-protect the blog, which I am very, very reluctant to do. (No bonus points for guessing who's found it.) But as it stands at the moment I'm not sure I will ever feel the same freedom and safety to say what I like here, and I am mourning that deeply.

Stay tuned.

23 comments:

  1. I am sure that is an awful feeling. It's one thing to have strangers out in the world sympathizing with you, but a whole other thing to feel someone from your real life is reading...

    I love your blog and always look forward to reading your entries, and I am sure that won't ever change.

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  2. Oh that's frustrating to feel like you need to censor. I love your blog and hope you still feel like you can write with the same passion and honesty that makes it a great read with stories that I can totally relate to.

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  3. Bummer. If you do password protect, I hope you'll let me in. And I'm really sorry you feel uncomfortable posting now. :(

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  4. Glad you're okay and hope your family is okay, too.

    I would be SO happy if you allow me into the password-protected group. As I said in my e-mail, your blog is my favorite.

    It is so sad that you must now censor what you say...

    Stay well!

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  5. Ugh, that sucks all around. Please go with password-protect rather than completely shutting down. I love your writing and what you say keeps me going as well.

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  6. I second what everyone else has said - I love reading your blog and your posts so often make me think about life and my own responses to it in a true and real way. Password-protect (but let me in, please!) and don't go away. Glad you're back.

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  7. Bummer about the password protection thing - I've had to censor a bit and it does remove the freedom a bit!

    Hope the family dramas are soon resolved and I'm glad to hear that you're otherwise doing well.

    Hugs

    Lesley x

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  8. Beth that's terrible! I hate the thought you would have to censor yourself. Discovering your blog has been one of the best things I've ever done to help me come to terms with my own problems. You are an absolute inspiration, and I always look forward to reading your wise, thoughtful, genuine, and beautifully written entries. I hope everything works out for the best for you.

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  9. I found your blog a month ago and consumed it like I would a favorite book over a number of days from beginning to end.

    It just goes to show that the party is almost over when I stumble in. That said, I hope you will continue to post your witty, insightful, and oftentimes downright wise entries.

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  10. I never commented on your blog but I have been reading for a couple of years now and I'm sorry that you may have to censor yourself. You often say things that strike a cord with me. If you do have to password protect I hope I can be let in too!

    Kerri

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  11. That is a shame. Yes password protect it - and please let me in!

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  12. I think password protection is a good idea - you shouldn't have to censure what you say because a certain someone won't respect your privacy. Or anything else, come to that...

    love
    Peridot x

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  13. You must feel terribly violated. If you stop blogging, he wins. I am glad you are okay.

    Your friend,

    Amy

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  14. It’s a shame but password protection may be the way to go.

    Please just promise that you won't stop blogging … you’re my inspiration as I try to lose weight and deal with my disordered eating again!

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  15. I've been reading your blog for several years and would really miss it if you decided to stop. I have really enjoyed reading about your journey; I hope that you decide to continue writing, and that you'll allow me to continue reading.
    Hope you feel better!
    Donna

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  16. I am in favour (not a sp. in my country!) of password protect or start a new blog and email the address to readers you trust. That allows you freedom to write. I've often considered both of these for my own blogs.. that is, when I get 'un-busy' enough to actually blog regularly again.

    You really have achieved something incredible to lose so much weight, eating real food in the real world with all the usual problems of modern life. Your blog is so real and I think, does 'show the way' for so many women that struggle with these things. You should continue, however you can.

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  17. Wow. I had a blog once and that was why I stopped writing...because someone in my personal life that I did not want to know about it found it - and it sucked. Felt like I couldn't be myself and he was constantly asking me question about comments I made, etc.

    I really hope you keep it going as this is the only blog I read. I would love if you allowed me the password.

    best of luck
    Michelle

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  18. I'd love to be part of your password protected group too. I've been following you for two years and would be bereft without being able to read your touching and real voice.

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  19. I too would love to be in the password group. And have never commented, but appreciate your honesty and transparency.

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  20. I was reading your old posts -- what is the title of your book, and is it still available?

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  21. i am a regular lurker ... i don't think i've ever commented ... don't bother censoring yourself - that's a waste of time and energy. password protect might be the only way to go ... hope you let me in! :)

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  22. Uh-oh, that must majorly suck... If you decide to password protect, please count me in, as I'm a major fan of your blog! It was after reading one of your entries that I decided to get treated for my ED... almost a year ago. Thanks!

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  23. It's a real shame you have been "discovered" and feel that you may have to censore your writing. I've been a follower of your brilliant blog for donkeys and would really miss you if you stopped.

    Fionna xx

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