Wednesday 5 January 2011

You Say You Want a Resolution

So I sat at work today, squeezed into a black skirt that was once too big and a jumper I nearly gave away and tried to remind myself that (a) eating will not make work or life any easier, and in fact will make it more difficult (it is hard to get out of bed when you know you're going to struggle with clothing), and (b) even though I feel hugely fat; like a barrel with little arms and legs sticking out, when I weighed 235 pounds I'd have killed to be the weight I am now. (What weight is that, you ask? I have no idea. I think I may well have put on a good stone since I've been here, and that's on top of the 10 pounds or so I'd gained since my lowest weight.) I also must remember that I live in a city – and work in an industry – where women are abnormally teeny tiny. Even at my smallest, I still think I'd be getting derisive looks from the fashion department.

But let's focus on the positive, shall we? I went running today for the first time since I moved to New York. Because of the time of year I moved here and the stress of the job, it's been easier to deal with going to the gym rather than work out a running route. Plus, I hate treadmills. But I'm supposed to be running the NYC half marathon at the end of March, and enough is enough already. I printed out a novice training schedule (yes, I've run a half before, but I want to do the minimum running required since most of it will likely be on the revolving apparatus of doom) and this morning got to it. Plus, according to a Yale University study, people who run for at least four hours a week melt more calories than non-runners – even when they're not running. Hmmm, maybe I need to rethink doing the minimum amount – won't put me at four hours until the last couple of weeks...

--I also hit a vinyasa yoga class at lunchtime. If I'm going to be stuck in the office until all hours, I'm going to attempt to reclaim my lunch hour. I did Pilates and/or yoga twice a week at lunch in the last couple of years of my previous job, and when I reclaimed my life from BN2 last year, I resumed the 2x a week yoga. The length of lunchtime classes (45 minutes) is perfect for my yoga ADD. Yes, the changing clothes is a big mental block, and it can be tough to think about exercise if, as I often am, one already is hungry for lunch. But I'm going to make an effort to go twice a week.

--Somewhat heroically, I managed to resist ice cream and cheesecake and chocolate – and not just any ice cream and cheesecake and chocolate, but ones designed by me to be the perfect iteration. (It was for a story on customizable food.)

Slightly less happily, a woman at yoga complimented me on my necklace: multi-strand jet, coral and gold beads, fastened with an intricately carved coral clasp my grandmother bought in China. I think I remember a tale of her spying it, falling in love with it, and then racing to go back and get it and nearly missing a ship or a bus or something, but now I'll never know for sure. I don't remember ever seeing her wear it, but I know she liked it enough that it was one of the few pieces of jewelry that was off limits when she would insist, as she always did, that I go through her drawers and "take some of this stuff. Look at all this stuff! You girls are going to kill me when I die." It made me sad that I'll never again tell her about compliments I got for things she bought or gave me – and more, that all I have left of her stories is what I can remember of them. I took a few notes once, a couple of years ago, jotting them down with crude sketches of the jewelry, but it seemed so maudlin. I remember I nearly threw them out when I moved, thinking I'd just get her to repeat some of them the next time I saw her. But she died less than a month after I moved.

2 comments:

  1. Well done on the running......it's great to have a goal. I'm just coming up with a new set myself.

    I hope NY is getting better and that you can stick to taking your lunchbreak....go on....you can do it!!

    Lesley xx

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  2. Beth you are such an inspiration. I know you probably don't feel like it most times but let me assure you that it is so comforting to read the thoughts that you write knowing that others like myself can relate. Congrats on getting out there and moving it!

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