Monday 7 February 2011

I Want to Break Free

This morning I pulled out my winter running kit and went for my first outdoor run since moving to New York.

It was a four-mile race in Central Park – just about perfect, since my little half-marathon training schedule called for a 5K race (3.1 miles). Running on the treadmill is easier than running outside, and I feared I'd struggle. I also feared I'd break something on the black ice that was still on the course, despite the New York Road Runners' best efforts.

I ran more slowly than I wanted (see "black ice"). Finish time: 35:02, or 8:45 minute miles. I'll take it.

It rained all day yesterday, but today was crisp, clear and sunny. When I finished the race I ignored the bagels, grabbed an apple and walked 12 blocks to the subway, watching the sun glint off the skyscrapers. I live here, I thought.

I'd have felt perfectly at peace, except for the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow morning – the first day of a gruelling two-week production cycle, where I'll work associate-at-a-law-firm hours in service of diet book haiku. I'm slightly exaggerating the diet book haiku part, but the rest of the sentence is all true.

***

Slowly, slowly I'm piecing together what a life after this job might look like. I was asked to apply for a job at a magazine I had a contract with last year. Tempting as financial security is, and as much as I like the people at that magazine, the job is not right for me. I'd hate to pollute my relationship with them by taking a job I don't really want, and if I've learned anything from this New York experiment, it's that I need to trust my gut.

I wrote a polite but honest note to my editor, explaining my decision. With it I pitched an idea for a regular column, which he liked. It's far from a done deal and it probably won't even pay my rent – but the prospect of it may just be the extra shove I need.

Twenty-nine days clean.

2 comments:

  1. Yay! You sound sooooo much more positive. Amazing what a good run will do. :)

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  2. Eeek - does that mean you're not coming back? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're happier. I'd just be happier if you were happier here!

    (What do you mean it's not all about me??)

    Px

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