How to Make Millions (or At Least, Thousands) By Lying

A few words for you: Go into celebrity PR.

Yesterday marked two weeks of my trying to get a couple minutes on the phone with a certain celebrity who will have to remain nameless. She’s a superskinny one, not that that’s much of a clue.

It was for a very friendly story – our fashion stories always are – but said celeb’s PR kept insisting her client was “traveling,” and wouldn’t be able to come to the phone. Could I send an e-mail instead?

Well, OK.

I sent an e-mail and nudged gently. Then more persistently. “She’s traveling,” her PR kept insisting.

Um, OK.

Yesterday a colleague happened to speak to said celeb’s mother – don’t ask. When he mentioned something about her daughter traveling, she said: “What are you talking about? She’s at home watching TV with her husband.”

So I phoned the PR, who repeated that her client was traveling.

“Where’s she traveling?” I asked innocently.

“I can’t tell you that,” the woman answered.

I paused. A huge chunk of celebrity journalism involves this ridiculous “please sir, can I have some more?” in terms of just letting the most massive whoppers go by for the sake of maintaining a relationship.

But enough.

“Is that because she’s traveling from the kitchen to the living room?” I asked.

Dead silence.

I got my quotes.