iPod, Therefore iAm

Walk down the street with a portable CD player and watch everyone stare. First I fried my iPod with water (long story) and then had it stolen (hope the thief is enjoying the dead iPod). Until I can replace it, I have a camouflage green portable CD player I bought a couple of years ago at Woolworth’s, when I was having my old iPod repaired. (The guy at Woolworths had to do a huge hunt in the back to even find me a portable CD player – he didn’t even think they sold them any more.)

At I’m-too-cool boutiques in London, everyone comments on the CD player – very rare for London, where no one speaks to you out of turn. I suppose it looks particularly ludicrous because I have my iPod headphones plugged into it – I have a spare pair. When I popped out of the office to get lunch today, two guys at the sushi place flat out stared at me. I felt like winking.

Ipods have their faults, but wow, the CD player is clunky, skips, and has bad sound quality. And I have to lug around CDs. And it doesn’t fit in my pocket. And…

I ordered my new iPod today, and – courtesy of a friend who works at iTunes – got free engraving. I struggled to think of something clever before finally giving up because I was in a hurry – the sooner I order it, the sooner it will come. So my snazzy black iPod, when it arrives, will say “Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One Before.” Of course the engraving is on the back, covered by the case I am also purchasing (see “first I fried my iPod," above), so no one but me will know just how lame I am.

* * *

I got through the holidays having only gained a pound. (Net loss for five weeks: 13 pounds.) Considering the mince pie, champagne, chocolate and general free-for-all that is England in December, and considering that the second half of the month included a week in Italy, Christmas in Scotland at a friend’s, and New Year’s in Spain, I’m feeling pretty good. Not great, of course, because of course I wish I was about 20 pounds thinner already and could actually see some difference – especially for a bunch of scary fashion-related things I have to do in the next two weeks -- but let’s not go there.

Italy was not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. It helped that I had been in Rome in November, unconstrained by diet, and so had recently eaten most of the things I might have wanted to stuff my face with. It also helped that I was with a very supportive and incredibly patient friend who occasionally pointed out that of course I was hungry, I hadn’t eaten enough. And someday I’m going to write the Towers of Italy Diet, which consists of eating pasta and climbing to the top of every church, bell tower, fortress and castle – which is pretty much what I did. (The climbing, not the eating. If we weren’t stair-climbing, we were trekking to the top of hilly small towns a good six hours a day.) I actually lost three pounds the week I was there.

Christmas was harder. I was going to a friend’s house and knew I’d have no control over what was served – only about how much I ate of it. I decided that Quality Street chocolates are pretty rubbish and had little trouble resisting them when the tin was passed around again and again and again. And then again. I don’t even want to calculate how many of them I might have eaten had I not been paying attention.

New Year’s: With same unsupportive friend (see Chocolates, Gave Box Of to Dieting Friend for Present) as at Christmas. But I bought fruit from the market (as opposed to pastry-laden hotel breakfasts) and tried to watch portions in restaurants.

Here’s to 2007.