Monday 15 January 2007

Whine and Chocolate

Today marks 50 days of This Thing That I'm Doing. That's 50 days I've been without diet Coke -- which, for anyone who knows me (and has bought a couple of two-liter bottles when I come to visit) is perhaps more of an achievement than the 14.5 pounds I've lost. (Weigh Day tomorrow, though.)

I don't think about the diet Coke much anymore, except in bars, where it feels impossibly lame (even lamer than diet Coke) to order water or sparkling water if I'm having a night where I don't want to drink my own body weight in wine, the way the rest of this country does. But the diet is a struggle. Not because of the hunger -- that's subsided, as well -- but because of my incredible impatience. It's been seven weeks, so why can't I see results?

My friend A., who would be Victoria Beckham if she lost 15 pounds, said last Friday that I had to hang on for two months.

"And then what if I don't see any difference?"

She paused. "Then you have a big drink."

Um, OK.

* * *

I'm judgmental by nature -- it's how I frame my world, and I'm not proud of it. It doesn't exactly make for a nice collection of 3 by 5s on the mantelpiece. So I've been surprised by the defenses mounted for the Friend Bearing Chocolate. It would never even have occurred to me that said friend might have done it, as another friend suggested, because she didn't think I needed to lose weight. (Sorry, but no way. There is no measure by which I'm not overweight, and medically unacceptably so -- especially by FBC's relatively exacting standards.)

Another friend suggested that perhaps FBC just plain didn't think -- that since food is not a big deal for her, she heard my diet comments and they went in one ear and out the other. (If I stretch hard, maybe maybe I can see this one -- except that she made a comment to me about my diet right before we headed to her parents'. Anyway, not listening to something that is a big deal to me -- and I told her that it was -- is still crappy friend behavior.)

That said, I've decided not to say anything to FBC -- partly because it was three weeks ago, partly because it was a present, and partly because I hate confrontation. But I may not eat my words next time... though hopefully there won't be a next time.

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