I know alcohol is a depressant. I think -- for me -- too much food must release the same chemicals. I feel gray and depressed after a binge -- despairing, fearful and sick. (The first day post-binge is also a complete waste of a day, as I just put one foot in front of the other, hoping to get through the hours until I can go to sleep and wake up the next day feeling better.)
Anyway, I'm six days post-binge -- six days of pretty clean eating. Not enough exercise, in my opinion, but frankly, I did some and today is a new week. A week that will probably include a trip to Paris and could also include a day interviewing the guys who run one of London's best bakeries, but let's worry about that when we get there, shall we?
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Well done. You are still my weight loss hero!
ReplyDeleteAn close friend recently told me something I didn't know about her husband. I knew he'd had an accident & hurt himself while drinking when he was in college 25 years ago, but what I didn't know was that he considers himself an alcoholic and still goes to AA meetings several times a week. For the last 25 years! & he still goes to AA meetings several times a week! I've known this man for 21 years and I never knew he went to AA or considered himself an alcoholic. I knew he didn't drink after his accident, but I kind of thought that it was a personal preference, like being a vegetarian.
ReplyDeleteI have been bingeing since I was 18. It's been less often for the last 10 years, but I still binge. I binged last night. I always think that if I can finally lose the weight and get in shape, that I won't have to worry about it anymore. I'll be able to eat whatever I want because I'll be able to keep in control. I don't know why I think that because I have never, ever in my adult life been able to have a 'normal' kind of relationship with food. So maybe this is my cross to bear? Maybe this is my version of addiction, and I just have to take it one day at a time, and realize that every meal must be planned and that I can never take my eating for granted. This is what I have to deal with – so it’s not the end of the world.
Sorry this is so long, but reading about your struggles really helps me to think about my own. I don’t know if it helps you to know that there are others of us out there dealing with this, but I really admire what you have done to wrestle your demons.
I'm glad you're feeling back on an even keel. Yes, it sounds like a food hangover to me. Good luck in Paris and in the bakery!! Sounds interesting.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up; you know you can do it.
Lesley x
Six days sounds pretty good to me - you're climbing out of the binge and back to sensible choices and exercise. Which is the real you, I know, it's just sometimes tiring to keep it up when modern society's default is the lowest common denominator.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to hearing more about the bakery and Paris.
love
Peridot x