Forty Days and Forty Nights

Up late writing, two nights in a row – though (part of) tonight's was that it wasn't until 11.45ish that I finally had time to do the fiction writing. Desperately trying not get out of the habit as fast as I am (almost) in it.

Just a quick post lest anyone (Bueller? Bueller?) wonder if the silence means I've fallen down the binge hole. I haven't, although it's been a tough few days on the food front – often so hungry that all I can do is be grateful that most days have not been like this.

And today at the nutritionist we spent a lot of time discussing food (duh!), which made me embarrassed about the lack of variety in my diet, my weird food issues (not a fan of many sauces; don't often mix foods together unless it's, say, a stew) and of course, hungry. Because I am, of course, very suggestible.

It was 7 pm when she weighed me. (I was amused when she held up a pair of pants and a shirt and showed me another client stashes with her as a "weigh-in day" outfit, and that others have all kinds of rituals – she must have seen it all, especially in New York City.) I had originally said I didn't want to know the number, and that I'd close my eyes or get on backwards. And then I decided I was being ridiculous. She wants to weigh me weekly, although if my appointment time changes (I don't always expect it to be at that time), how useful will that be, since weight can fluctuate within a day at least as much as it could in a week.

Oh well. I'll try to let her do her job without interfering too much. That's why I went to her in the first place. (I have, however, insisted I will not eat eggs for breakfast – I don't care how full they make other people; I do not ever get as full from them as I do from oatmeal, and I am an expert on myself, if nothing else.)

Weight on her scale, at 7 pm, was 178. Again, not freaking out particularly. Although I suspect I will if I go back next week and it's up drastically. Of course, I'm supposed to be going to the Catskills for the weekend, so who knows what I might eat?

Day 40.